Apostrophes have often been a mystery to me. I've been married to James for two and a half years now, and I just learned where to put the apostrophe when something belongs to him, with a little help from Jack Lynch. He has a pretty helpful website at http://andromeda.rutgers.edu/~jlynch/Writing/a.html#apostrophe.
So here's what I learned about James and apostrophes:
...There's also the opposite case: when a singular noun ends in s. That's a little trickier. Most style guides prefer s's: James's house. Plain old s-apostrophe (as in James' house) is common in journalism, but most other publishers prefer James's. It's a matter of house style... [Entry revised 14 Sept. 2004, with a tiny correction on 21 Oct. 2004; revised again 12 Jan. 2005.]
And in the interest of the APA:
Lynch, J. (May 9, 2007). Apostrophe. In Guide to grammar and style. Retrieved November 28, 2007, from http://andromeda.rutgers.edu/~jlynch/Writing/a.html#apostrophe.
So, because James's mother is an English teacher, I shall change my wicked ways and give him the seemingly superfluous "s" when things are his. We both try very hard to please our mother-in-laws.
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My Journalism background must have created my personal preference for dropping the extra S. Although my phonetic gut has always disliked the practice, I seem married to it now. I guess I'm a Journalist first and an English major second.
I'm secretly relieved you got the s-ending husband name, because it would have created quite a bit of inner turmoil for me to have to face your quandary on a daily basis.
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